Octavia Hansen

Insensitive? No, Just Realistic



Posted: Wednesday, August 17, 2011

by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen

There are some people extremely sensitive to sound, vibrations and feelings. I am not one of them. I can't even pick up hints from someone standing next to me, much less can I acknowledge contact by the next realm, wherever that is, whatever it's supposed to be.

Human beings are supposed to have memories from the dawn of time. Oh, really? Then locating my car keys should be a snap. I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday. Good thing breathing comes naturally or I'd be blue long before now.

Reality is always with me. I hardly have room anymore for daydreams or wishes, do I really have to consider contact with anyone that I didn't to speak very much here who has now passed on? Scrooge was so right, talking to Marley's ghost, when he said the senses can be fooled and distorted. He attributed Marley's visitation to a bit of undercooked potato playing on the senses. And fever dreams are wholly undependable, though they can make for a good story later -- Frankenstein, anything Lovecraft, Dante's Divine Comedy.

Ghosts? I wish! I'd have a lot to say and even more to ask. How come everyone's ghosts have something sinister going on? What happened to the spirit of Shirley Temple? Or Walt Disney? In the balance life and nature, for a bad side there is a good side. There should be an equal number of laughing and dancing ghosts to balance out that negative side of the cosmic scale. Evil seems to be able to come down through the ages in curses and bad luck, isn't there a flip side to that in good luck and comedy?

Physic feelings? Cold spots? I didn't pick it up when my boyfriend was sleeping around, and I'm supposed to know what the universe is telling me? And then what? If the cosmos needs my help, it's too far gone for me anything about it. There are some days that things don't work . . . The car won't start. A shop closed. Weather so bad no one gets through. I'm sure the Universe is trying to say something, I just can't hear it. Sorry, Universe, I only speak English and it's got to be said to me directly. Good thing I wasn't on Mt Sinai, I'd have stomped out the bush then found a nice place for lunch.

Reality takes the fun out of a lot of things. Notice how crop circles are no longer news since two men confessed and showed how it was done? The moon isn't anywhere near as interesting since astronaut-tourist photos show how bleak it is. Astronauts took golf clubs to entertain themselves. How many rocks can you look at for how long?

Some people are sensitive to body language. I always have this wrong. The one time I thought someone was being stand-offish, arms wrapped tight, it turns out they were just cold. Once a nice man was shaking my hand, for a long time, and didn't seem to want to let go. Later, my girlfriend said, "He liked you!" Oh, great, now you tell me. I thought he was trying to steady himself before he let go. Guess he read me as being stand-offish. Cruel irony to this universe sometimes.

I've tried to listen. Meditation makes me sleepy. That or I get an earth shattering idea and have to write it down before it escapes back into the ether. Either way, I've defeated the meditative process.

But I do think the Universe is trying to tell me something, I just can't hear it.
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