The Glove Box or How Did This There When It Isn't Anywhere At All?
Posted: Saturday, August 27, 2011
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
In the beginning of automobiles, there was a blank dashboard. It became more decorated as cars advanced . . . dials, gauges, buttons, even handles. Radios did not make a debut until sometime in the1930s. But the glove box was suggested, and installed, as a convenience for women.
Driving originally demanded an entire outfit to keep the driver and passengers clean and able to meet weather conditions. This included, but certainly not limited to: hats, goggles, coats, scarves, and during that time simply everyone had them -- gloves. The back seat, rumble seat or trunk (literally a trunk secured onto the back of the vehicle) were fine for the larger items, but gloves had to be in close proximity for the lady.
In times of a stressful date, the glove box has been known to be a point of intense scrutiny, usually accompanying a long silence in what should have been conversation.
Very few people use glove boxes for anything other than mobile trash receptacles and paper drive collection points. I keep a pair of gloves, as the name implies, because I think I'm the only person who likes gloves anymore. I root through the box whenever it is necessary to be looking for something. This is a very interesting thing to do at stop lights -- lost treasures and Amelia Earhart's luggage tags have miraculously appeared, under maps and tissues. There have been dates where this is the high point -- yes, it was all downhill from there.
Like car doors, all glove boxes are different shapes, locations and ways of ingress. Everything you will ever need will not fit together into said box. Maps are never folded the same way twice and the air gauge is shy, only present when it is not needed.
Some glove boxes are directly in front of the passenger seat. They were thinking of ME! As a passenger this is amazingly convenient. As a driver, if I accelerate when someone else is looking in the box, inertia makes things fall into an unsuspecting lap. Cheap laugh for a cheap date.
Some boxes are under the dash, some to the side, on the door (doesn't that make it a pocket?) , or between the front seats. Shame, when bench seats gave way to bucket seats it began the decline of the courting society. It soon became a terse 'yes' or 'no' for the back seat; no frills, just business. Now that people sit so far apart, they are hardly a couple. It used to be perfectly obvious that the silhouettes of joined heads meant togetherness. Now everyone looks like they're fighting.
Some glove boxes lock, some make you think they are locked, most do not know when to stay closed. I'm sure there was a perfectly good explanation why another woman's nightgown was in my boyfriend's glove box -- I just didn't want to hear it. It wasn't new, and it wasn't mine. Next! New boyfriend time!
Most things that are supposed to be mobile enough to go into a car are never measured to fit comfortably in a glove box. Let's face it, when a Rand-McNally map is unfolded, its life expectancy is reduced by the number of folds it takes to get it back into the box. At least with air-conditioning, folding does not have to take place with a 55 mph in-coming wind. I have been known to throw said map into the back seat, spirit it into the house, iron it back into a semblance of it's original condition, and restore it to the original place of rest. I defy small car owners to find a place for a United State road atlas.
Glove boxes vary with the style of the car, a discouraging fact of life. Some have lights, some mirrors, some drink stands that should only be utilized when completely stopped. This last part I speak of with personal experience -- don't let it happen to you.
Glove boxes are an optical illusion in larger cars, the front of the box is large but the depth is gone. A large car glove box is similar to an envelope with a beautiful door. In a small car, a large glove box gives the feeling of a roomier interior. Detroit giveth and Japan taketh away.
With a glove box, I never feel alone and I always feel prepared. Without a glove box, life might be simpler but perhaps a little emptier.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Excellent description of glove boxes in larger cars. Why do they even bother? But there is indeed a crazy kind of comfort that they provide. Good writing. The Rand McNally bit is hilarious. You have a real talent. Never get discouraged about your writing skills. If you ever do, reach for my comment, (which of course you will have printed for your comfort) and pull it out of your glove box and read it. It is made to always remind you that your are very very good.
I like gloves boxes in used cars, it is a passage way in time if they have not cleaned it out. Tells you a little bit about the car's past....:)
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