Commercial-maniac Or Get Your Foot Out Of My Brain
Posted: Monday, September 05, 2011
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
Conversation has taken a turn for the worse in the last seventy-five years. That was the debut of television programming as we know it. Before that, broadcast hours were extremely limited, poor quality and experimental at best for the general public. Even after a few years, sets were expensive, air time gained only a few extra hours a day and it was considered only an accessory to life. Then came the fifties and sixties, all-day programming and special broadcasting in the evening, along with the invention of TV dinners (Yes, this food in a trough was actually designed to be eaten from a tray in front of the television.) the time was ripe for a massive swing to advertising.
Commercials are the first and last word of anything on television. Now more than ever. There used to be one commercial brake in a half hour time frame, now it's two, and then there are breaks and station identification at the beginning and end of every show. Viewing time is at a all time minimum.
Even public television is no longer immune. Their self promotion and fund drives are the longest non-commercials you will ever seen. True, the advertisements are classier than talking burgers or flying tee-shirts, but a commercial is a commercial. It used to be one of the superior recommendations for some public television was the lack of commercial breaks. No more! Starting now in September, there are programs allowing a break for sponsors, not just another fund drive. How could you, PBS? I didn't like fund drives before, if you begin advertising, what's the difference? Why should I watch or donate if I'm already buying the product, or especially when I'm not.
But this is a rag on advertising, not PBS.
Commercials have the clearest sound, the most color, the most words, and the least looked for viewing. Though sometimes, it's sad when the commercial is better than the program. Some foreign commercials are stunning! Okay, commercials are a convenient time for the bathroom or a snack but they are annoying. My attention span is whittled to fifteen minute (oh, that long is it?) intervals dictated by a glowing box.
In an obnoxious, ill-mannered world, commercials promote bad habits. Advertisers make cute children lie, teens steal from each other, and adults interrupt with worthless advice and dubious products. How dare anyone try to set my standards for cleanliness, fashion or diet. Only when cigarette advertising was banned was an honorable service performed. It never hurt their profits, advertising went elsewhere and people still smoke.
Unfortunately, it is apparent advertising exercises a great deal of influence over the American public, many of my friends included. Product placement in movies or on television is NEVER an accident. Ever notice how many things are blurred out? It's because they didn't have an advertising agreement, not that anyone is ashamed of a product.
It's also annoying when in real life (yes, there is one away from the idiot box) there is a passing reference to a product, and someone will chime in with a Madison Avenue catchy phrase. As if I didn't know or haven't heard the advertising.
ENOUGH! I live in a world of commercial zombies, programmed with whatever someone else deems important. Is there anything anyone buys that WASN'T seen on television? And people get their habits from television -- standing in the middle of the aisle, parking in the center of the street, women are slaves to cleaning beauties and every man thinks the spokesmodel comes with the car. And when those kids come tracking mud into the house -- give THEM the spray cleaner and the paper towels and put them to work. Television is programming parents to be kid servants. A little discipline and responsibility, please.
Gentle reminder: you only matter to advertisers when you buy.
Do you question commercials? Who did the testing? When was the testing? Virtually spotless? Better than what? Actual mileage may vary? New and improved -- how much? This is a cover-your-ass advertising clause, meaning you fell for the image, not the actual product.
Dog and cat food commercials. Talk about surrogate children, no one in these commercials has a job or a life, especially women. Sorry, I'm really concerned for my own species, animals come in a poor second on what should be everyone's list of priorities. Flavor and texture? They are animals, surviving thousands of years on whatever they found on the ground, drink where ever they found it and now taste matters? They lick themselves! With so many people going hungry, I'm not interested in a pet liking their food.
Fashion? I'm too practical. I can't purchase potato skins for the same reason I can't wear worn jeans. It costs more for potato skins than baked potatoes, old jeans cost more than new -- and I won't wear anything that millions of others wear. I cling to the idea that when Prince Charming finally arrives to whisk me away, he can easily spot me in a crowd. And buying a product logo tee shirt is advertising a product. They win twice -- you bought the product and you bought the advertising. No, thanks, unless it's free, I am NOT advertising for you.
I work in advertising so I'm really jaded now. I at least have learned to question what I see. Let's test your commercial knowledge:
1. What is a Ph balance? It's a chemical relationship about hair, shampoo and water, according to advertising. But if you don't know the Ph of the water, how can you balance anything with it?
2. When you see the disclaimers at the bottom of the screen or at the end of a car, drug or processed food commercial, can you read it? Do you know what it says? It's that cover-their-ass clause again about details of the product and limited liability of the sale. Buyer beware . . . it's all in the wording. It's so they can say "I told you that already."
3. Turn off the sound and guess the product. There are some commercials, even with the sound, that I don't know what they are sellling -- the face? the beer? the clothes?
4. Spokesmen and spokesmodels: How much do they know about their product? How much will they use that product? Advertising sells you the idea that if you choose that product, you will be like them -- slim, bright, successful, popular. It REALLY works on teenagers, trying desperately to fit in and grow up, and twenty- and thirty-somethings who no longer have a group for affirming their social standing. This is where eating disorders and plastic surgery get such a boost.
5. How many people are enjoying the product? Do you share your things with a friend, a family, a team -- or is it a personal thing? And things that should stay private, are usually brought to light in the gigantic circus size -- how big is that box of maxi-pads? Do they really carry the large size bottle of laxatives? Get a plain tote bag, people.
8. Who tests dog food for flavor? Maybe I don't want to know this.
9. Why is it legal to direct advertising at children? An ugly monster reared its head when children became a marketing focal point. Every children's television program, cartoon or movie is an advertisement to impress an already fragile mind a state of development with product branding for life. This marketing is obscene. It bends, warps and corrupts youth . . . FOR LIFE. Remember those two words -- FOR LIFE. I'll bet you remember more television products than direct relatives from your early years. How sad. And all of us know this.
It's pathetic that Nickelodeon, an entire network devoted to advertising to children, has to schedule empty programming on the premise it's good for kids to get away from television. It would really benefit kids (and parents) if Nick was only on for the three hours, instead of only the three hours off. Much like the cereal box is better for you than the cereal.
You have to pay attention to what you see. Advertising works . . . Disney knew this, Coca-cola knows this, Proctor & Gamble has the largest advertising budget in the world at more than 20-billion dollars -- this would not be so if it didn't bring in so much more than they spend. Hopefully, this will make you a more aware consumer . . . so . . . watch out.
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