Golf Clubs? Time For A Sale
Posted: Thursday, September 22, 2011
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
When my galfriend called me to help her close up house in a gigantic move to Silicon Valley, CA, she began to pull out stashed treasures that could never hope ever again to fill her life. Years of box, bag and closet packing produced what looked like more stuff than space -- truly a Dr-Who-Tardis-bigger-on-the-inside-than-the-outside effect. Clowns stashed in a small car weren't as perfected in the explosive effect of an unpacked display as her belongings.
Out of one of the dark recesses, right behind Amelia Earhart's luggage and the missing Pharaoh of Arkansas, was a massive set of golf clubs.
Golf clubs? I had known this woman more than a decade and I NEVER thought of her on a golf course. She never spoke of it. Never put me on hold while she took a shot. Never deferred an appointment because of a tee-time. I had never seen this bag before. Loaned by some sweet person thinking they would get them back? A purchase made on a pleasant day's whim? I had to know. Wrong on all counts. Some client gave them to her, they being generous and thinking someday they would play and make big business deals on the green . . . someday would never come now. The move was the thing that slices life to the bone.
Being the good friend I am and having extensive experience with advertising text and Craig's List, she asked me to post the clubs. Easy. I took a flattering picture of the ivory leather bag with wheels and pockets, accented with brown piping and stripes, then displayed the clubs in an array reminiscent of a rising sun, emphasizing number, variety and quality of this professional equipment. Yea, I'm really good at what I do.
Then came the hard sell -- the text, the testimonial, the statistics, the low down. Well . . . she knew my sense of humor, trusting me to reel in a player, or a wallet, or enough interest for someone to ask about other items flying off the rusty shelves. Here I go! I give you the Golf Club post on Craig's List: (Yes, it worked. They were gone in an hour.)
Golf? You'll be ready! - $25
These 12 clubs and handy-dandy carry bag are ready for the green. Yea, I know it's hot but you'll be even hotter after dragging these babies around 18 holes.
As an inheritance, the family really missed the mark trying to get me interested in golf. 3 clubs are wood. 9 are iron. Northwestern on the edge of the clubs and the bag says First Flight -- Yea, right out the window if I can't unload them on some unsuspecting someone who thinks they want to play a round and make business deals with people you wouldn't give your real name to after a fender bender.
But besides that . . . the shortest club is 35", the longest is 43". I can carry it so it's not that heavy. If you're not up to it, hire a desperate kid and pay him in Red Bull.
How can you pass this up? Even if you don't play, anyone passing by will considering your garage and sports tastes that much more classy by having clubs. They'll look great right next to that unused exercise equipment.
They look so good, maybe a burglar will grab the clubs, thinking they are worth something and leave your other stuff alone.
Or take 'em to the driving range, get a bucket'o'balls and pretend each one is your ex's head -- your golf score will improve overnight and those drives will be farther and faster than ever. Hey, worked for me!
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