All Dressed Up or Look Better Than The Competition And Win!
Posted: Friday, September 30, 2011
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
It's a shame people do not 'dress' anymore. There are weddings, funerals, proms, concerts, birthdays, holidays and benefit social gatherings that are more formal than the usual group events, sorely overlooked for dressing up possibilities. Nowadays it means new sneakers and a clean tee-shirt. How awful! People at least used to have special nice clothes for Sunday. With the decline of church going, Sunday best is lost.
I sorely wish men would wear a tux as an every day uniform. Every man looks dashing in a tux. Opera's Pavarotti, weighed in at 280+ pounds, looked sensational in a tux! Even disproportionate Fred Astaire knew a tux could smooth visual flaws while enhancing his fancy stepping. Most men wore their first and last tux at their prom. Amazing how a garment can transform every stupid, dumpy kid instantly into James Bond when dressed with a fitted tux. You would think guys would recognize this and buy one they could wear forever. Every woman has been disappointed after their wedding day, seeing it in every photo taken that day, knowing that's as good as her man will ever look in public or private.
Women love to dress up but there are fewer and fewer formal special occasions. Nasty bridesmaids dresses do not count. It is not their choice and not their fault. There has NEVER been a bridesmaid dress that any woman wants to wear ever again. There is an assortment of these at any thrift store anywhere, selling for less than any other dress and hanging around longer than anything in the store, except the light bulbs. The movie "27 Dresses" was not an exaggeration. It did not go far enough. Some bridesmaids dresses even drag queens would not wear even to get a laugh. There is no costume shop or theatre wardrobe that would ever waste space storing these ugly gowns thinking anyone would ever use them, even to soak up overflowing toilets in a public bathroom. I have been fortunate, if I wasn't sick at the time of any large weddings, I was at least out of town or not invited. This also meant I didn't have to bring a gift . . . or date -- lucky me!
Dressing up used to mean a fun, special nights. In the hey day of the movies, 20s, 30s and 40s, people used to dress -- it was THE place to be seen. Premieres of course, but the movie houses were so grand, you just had to look your best just to feel right inside. Also, there were clubs and speakeasies where people wanted to be noticed, they made a statement with their clothes -- flappers, rum runners, bartenders. Fashion doesn't make much of a statement anymore.
Most clothing is so plain, they have to tell you who made it or how much they paid. Hey, just leave the tag out, we get the picture. Ratty Jeans and nasty shirts aren't just for everybody. Oh, yes, they are so no one can tell the slobs from the fashionistas.
Even the opera and symphony does not require after five/dinner attire any more. What a pity, that extra touch separated the music lovers from the riffraff. The conductor still wears tails but the orchestra has gone to plain black suits. Even Marlene Dietrich looked sensational in top hat and tails!
In the 50s and 60s, cocktail dresses were required for any soiree. Audrey Hepburn dulled it down with her plain black dress, even if she did wear it well with a hat the size of an umbrella and a cigarette holder that could put out someone's eye. Judy Holliday had sensational cocktail wear in "Born Yesterday" and "Bells Are Ringing." Even the Barbie doll sported a cocktail dress collection through the 60s. Any social gal just had to have these sleek, colorful dresses with matching hat, coat and gloves. Doris Day ranks first for her coordinated wardrobe in her goofy movies. Men never noticed how she was dressed, but every woman did!
Some movies are built around the clothes. "What A Way To Go" with Shirley Maclaine, worshipped unabashedly at the very altar of fashion for two hours. She was poured into, painted on, stitched in and pushed into every possible gown, dress and dance tights one woman could still act while wearing. In Star Wars: Episode I, it was Queen Amidala and her entourage that kept the eye focused when it became too blurry to follow the fast action. Her pearls, feathers, kabuki makeup and flame designed robes made this small woman larger than life and little gals Halloween costumes for the next decade.
There are costume pieces that can be added to a wardrobe but there's a fine line between fashionable and stupid. A beret is always dashingly foreign and not everyone's head can hold one; a fez is the perfect hat to wear while watching "Casablanca" -- shame anything Middle Eastern has such a bad rap now. Top hats come and go with rock stars, Broadway and anyone into song and dance. Most look cheezy. If it's not the real pop-up-magician's-rabbit-inside hat, it's just another hat. Every woman loves a tiara but it's only street fashion acceptable in Las Vegas. Too bad for everyone else, I'll just have to keep wearing mine and pity those who do not own the matching scepter. No dressing room or floozy would ever be complete without a matching feather boa. These crazy fun bird reminders molt like a diseased swan but make everyone remember you. Feathers end up everywhere for days, just like jerky guys you didn't mean to have your phone number.
Let's not forget footwear. Yes, ladies, we have sky-high heels where men are in flats or low heels. But we need this attention and we need it from them. If they wore high heels, we'd never hear the end of it, and it's us, not them, that need that extra umph! Shoes on a woman are important. Men can not always say why they look, it's the over all look they perceive, not the elements. But it starts with shoes! Yes, men look at a woman in high heels. It sets the tone for the rest of your look. In "Little Shop of Horrors" with Ellen Greene's Audrey character, your eyes went right to her shoes! I don't even remember any of her clothes, but her feet had the most breathtaking wardrobe of heels and patterns I have ever seen! And she actually walked and ran in them!
Men do not understand women and shoe shopping. This was a big issue on "Sex In The City" and every woman watching knew it! Men remained clueless. We are constantly looking for that sensational pair to attract men's eyes, make men think sexy thoughts, and keep that man's attention FOREVER. If we ever find that right pair, we'll never buy another shoe the rest of our lives. It's that simple.
One more shoe thought . . . don't you just love really tall heels on a woman? It makes the leg-line long and inviting, makes her posture just so that her rear sticks out and beckons to a man. I've heard it called Joan Crawford Pumps, but women have another name men probably already know. Doesn't that make you excited just reading about them?
Men and women: Never buy cheap shoes, you will look cheap. Unless that's what you are going for.
It's easy for a woman to attract a man's attention. Not every man can attract a woman's attention. Not every man deserves attention. Even ZZ Top sang how women love a sharp dressed man. You think James Bond would have the women he does if he was wearing tee-shirts and jeans? Guess again!
And don't you like it when a woman dresses up? Especially for you? When she wears stockings and garters and only you know it. Playing dress up is still fun.
So . . . dress up. Always dress up. Always look better than everyone around you. When you get undressed and there's a line of clothes laying across the floor from the door to the bed, you'll just love the effect!
There was one point in the Indiana Jones/Raiders of the Lost Ark movie, after Marion put on the frilly evening dress, when a bad guy says, "You Americans. You are always overdressing for the wrong occasion." Yep! Got that right! Last time I was invited out to a casual evening, I wore a long shiny, sprayed-on-fitting velvet dress and my hair hung in long waves -- I looked sensational. When I entered the room, every woman, while looking at me, put her hand on her man.
Maybe she was showing me he was her property, maybe they were holding the guy back, probably both -- but I made my statement!
Oh, dress up, by all means! ALWAYS look better than the competition. Selling your car? You wash it. Putting your house on the market? You paint it. Want to attract better people? Dress for it. Don't fall victim to what I call the Quasimodo Syndrone . . . guys want women to take them as they are, but men want women dressed up and made up to look their very best. She's supposed to love him for who he is, he loves her because she's beautiful. Men end up bitter, women don't think that way.
Even on Gilligan's Island, Mrs. Howell was concerned with clothing (for a three hour tour, these people brought a Broadway wardrobe!), "Fashion can be so confusing . . . What does one wear to a rescue?"
And finally, every woman's mantra to the man in her life, before they leave the house for anything: "You're not wearing that . . . are you?"
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