I LOVE Men . . . They're My Species!
Posted: Sunday, October 02, 2011
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
Yes, really. I love men. I don't just love men. I LOVE men. Men are terrific. They are predictable, cuddly on a dime, can lift heavy objects and dispose of a bug. Guys are everywhere and I look at all of them. Unlike some gals who only go for the GQ type, I love men. Short, tall, fat, thin, body builders and Santa Claus -- men are wonderful.
I'm tired of talking to women. I hear the same things. It's their life, their clothes, their kids, their future, their past, who's married, who's divorced, who's doing medical stuff, who's retiring. And they get catty. Meow! Pass me that meow mix. That's the reason women, even though we are the majority of any population, will never get even, much less ahead of any social game. Men will mentor and teach, helping each other. Women get snippy. They undercut other women trying to get ahead. A lot of women are downright nasty to other women. Best Friends Forever makes me laugh. Didn't know forever was over so quickly. It takes very little to fall out with a woman, from men or women. Calling. Not calling. Talking. Not talking. Anything. Everything. No wonder men are confused.
Men are very predictable and then they go off on a tangent. This is okay -- who can you have around all the time who won't make you crazy? I really like the do-it-yourself guys who start from scratch. They don't just tell you the time, they tell you how to make a watch, how to tell time from the sun, why the seasons rotate the way they do and how water is effected by gravitation from the sun and the moon. Some guys are a regular walking encyclopedia.
There are men who live in their own world. Sometimes that's enough. These are the guys most likely into computers, science and/or building things. They are not great at socializing. Because of this, when I meet one, I am a goddess for just talking to them. They want me to walk on them. They want to carry me around so my feet don't touch the ground. They want to drink champagne out of my shoe. Makes for lousy walking in wet shoes, but it's the thought that counts. Considering these are men with a brain the size of a planet, they don't have much confidence when it comes to women. All the better for me. These are the men who can re-wire my house for anything from wind power to TIVO, and all the electronic devices in between. The darlings!
There are the mechanics of the world. These are men who can build a whole new world, or fix the world where I already live. These are the new gods in civilization. Everything needs someone to maintain it or fix it. That's where a good mechanic, handyman, maintenance guy is worth his weight in hammers and nails. One man took apart the dashboard of my car just to replace a single light bulb that would have cost me over $500 and my car held hostage at a dealership for days. What a man! I've known men who could put on an entire roof, paint the inside of a house and lay the brickwork comparable to a Roman road! Rarely have I had to pay for parts and labor for all the great fixers I have known.
I feel really sorry for men in bad marriages. Not the guys who say it's a bad marriage yet stay that way for sex or money reasons, I'm talking the reality of a sick wife, a mean wife, psychotic wife or no sex wife. I just know these men began with noble intentions for marriage, and then the game changed. They must have had a great time meeting and dating, then reasoned it would continue and improve if they said "I do." Oh, you optimists! They cling to the idea that if they do enough, make enough, say enough and buy enough that something miraculous will change reality as they know it. Hope springs eternal. It's a good thing they don't have a clue that things will not change in their favor. When men in general find this out about life and matrimony, marriage will become extinct. Women marry men hoping to change them, men marry thinking women won't change. This has never worked, for either party. When marriages don't work, it's tough to do something, to get out and start again. Sorry guys, much as I love men, married men are poison on my list, no matter what your reasons not to axe it. You have to at least be separated for me to entertain ideas with you.
Divorced men are alright. Men who have broken off with their girlfriend are all right. Men who are still married with an understanding are a joke. I understand -- she doesn't know, does she? And there are those men collecting their own harem. That's fine for them, I'm just not a team player. I don't mind being the next one in line, I do mind being one of the bunch. STD's being as rampant as they are, I protect myself.
Hmm, friends with benefits? And my benefit is what exactly? I get to have a man but none of the advantages of being a girlfriend, significant other or at least co-respondent. No. No, thank you. The phrase that springs to mind is: He's getting laid. She's getting screwed.
But in general, men are a wonderful invention. They will put up with more crap from women that they really shouldn't have to. Even if they are not listening, they look like they are, and sometimes . . . that's enough.
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