Practical Fashion for Men, Vol 2
Posted: Friday, December 02, 2011
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
If you missed the first part of this lecture, don't worry. Vol. 1 is easy to find and there will not be a quiz later. In my effort to make the world more beautiful, I hand out fashion advice to those who ask. Those who do not ask don't want to know, saying anything to them wastes both of our time. Men are shy about asking clothing tips, so in an effort to ease their mind this is food for thought. Much as I like handing out fashion advice, remember these are only my opinions. Not everyone would agree and the first rule of thumb (for me anyway) is to be comfortable. If you don't feel good in your clothes, you won't have a good time doing anything, and most people's faces reflect they aren't comfy.
You can still wear T-shirts, just be specific about the occasions you wear them. T-shirts are usually very casual and don't project a sharp image. Still, there are shirts made out of T-shirt material that have a button collar or a better finish, no slogan or product logo, that make a great business casual image. Again, fit is everything. A big baggy shirt looks messy. An old shirt won't have smooth color and usually is pulled out at the neck -- all that over the head quick dressing, laundering and hard times in the dryer. Most of the better T-shirts that you would wear for business casual are good for about 1 to 2 years of regular once-a-week wear, after that, only use them for more informal times . . . hanging with friends, weekend getaways, maybe some bar time where lights are low and wardrobe isn't so important.
In the book of Jurassic Park, the mathematician character, Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum in the movie), only bought clothes that were black, white or gray so he didn't have to spend time matching things. Very practical for a man but too limiting for someone like colorful me.
Hmmm . . . everyday wear shoes. There is a lot of choice in shoes. Again, only buy what is comfortable when you put them on in the store. Used to be you could break in a pair of shoes. No more. Don't try it. Don't even bother. Even if you LOVE a pair of shoes and they don't feel good, you have to move on. Pay particular attention to anything where your toes bend to meet the foot. Any straps, sewn designs, seams or joins in the shoe will dig into your foot every time it bends there. Synthetic materials and designer styles make it that a shoe doesn't "give" or fit your foot even with wear. If you find shoes that are slightly larger, you can always make them fit with foam insoles. Trust me, your feet will LOVE you for this.
(A quick tip: walk around before you buy a pair of shoes, up and down a mall or a long walk across the parking lot will help get your feet into their true shoe-fitting shape. At rest, your feet are at their smallest. Walking around tends to make them puff a little, and the soles of the feet spread.)
Quick history lesson in shoes: Unless you had shoes custom made, until about 150 years ago (Civil War time), there were no right and left shoes. You made them this way by wearing them. A shoemaker made a lot of shoes and you chose from what was on the shelf. Most of the time, shoes and boots were handed down, resoled and kept as long as possible. Sometimes the hangman would get to keep the boots off a dead man as payment for his services. You had your Sunday best, only worn once a week or special occasions, the rest of the time you had slippers indoors (made of felt, heavy wool, sometimes cut from an actual old carpet -- nothing went to waste) and work shoes. A lot of athletes went barefoot. As feet progressed, shoes were made to suit the activity -- sports, running, dancing, hiking, formal wear.
Today, shoes are made in all sizes and materials. Plastic shoes need holes to let your feet breathe or you will get athlete's foot, a fungus that grows in wet, warm shoes. All you have to do to avoid this is keep your feet dry and let your shoes air out. Leather breathes with your feet but can be costly and you have to take care of them. One good soaking (rain/snow) and a quick dry will crack the leather and nothing will save it. Also, when it dries fast, it becomes brittle and sharp, trying to wear it at all can gash your foot, at the very least make nasty blisters.
No shoe is for all purposes. An assortment will serve you well . . . a loafer, an Oxford, a pair of dark, plain boots that can fit under pants, high top almost-boots like early Beatle boots -- all these have their place. It has been proven that having three pairs of shoes and alternating them will last longer than five pairs of shoes bought and worn in continuous succession.
What ever your shoe choice, keep them looking nice. There's a reason that shoe-shine guys have been around since there have been shoes, they make shoes look great! Even a vinyl shoe or plastic looks better when a little care is used to keep them clean and scuff-free.
When shoes get a blemish on the top, especially at the toes, consider them dead as professional wear. Nothing will help. It just looks like you are cheap (and don't pay attention to details -- said a business hiring professional) as you wear them or try to cover a mark. I know it's unfair to consider losing a pair of shoes just because of a noticeable mark, but that's the way it is. If a scuff is on the back of a shoe, you can get by for a little while but start shopping for new shoes.
Frayed, broken or badly tied shoe laces mean you don't know your own feet. Shoe lace breakage is a fact of life -- be prepared. Laces are cheap, have at least one pair ready for each pair of shoes with laces. Keep at least one pair of laces in your work desk: black, leather and long. You can cut them to size without having a frayed edge.
Socks. Not enough can be said about socks. Almost every man I know has/wears socks that are pulled out at the top and have at least one hole in them. Socks are cheap, buy a bunch. White socks are great for sports. Black socks for dinner and more important engagements. Socks are to protect your feet, not define your fashion statement . . . well, not after high school anyway. If/when your socks show themselves below your pants and above your shoes, they should not be so bold as to take attention away from everything else you wear.
Einstein did not wear socks. He considered it a waste of time and intellect picking out and putting on socks. He was smart enough that this didn't matter and in the academic environment, he could do no wrong.
Subtle colors, black, brown, navy, dark green are okay. Anything more and it's competing with your fashion statement. In the Peter Cook/Dudley Moore 1967 British movie "Bedazzled," Peter Cook was The Devil and he always wore bright red sox to show a difference. His pants were always short enough to give everyone a flash. Considering how little a sock actually is, this was prominent throughout the film. The color was positively riveting. Works in the movies; that is not real life.
AND: if you have an assortment of dark color socks, spend a few minutes under a bright light to get the pairs correct. What looks okay in the half light of morning or a dull closet light becomes a comedy routine in the harsh light of day . . . unmatched socks. Socks are good for about a year, maybe two if you buy the better ones. Novelty socks, sports teams, bright colors are great at home, they don't impress a date or an employer.
One more comment about shoes. If you have your pants the right length, slim style sports shoes can be really nice as evening shoes. As long as the shoes still look new/unscuffed, black is the evening color, you can be comfy and well dressed at a gathering where you are not the center of attention. Especially evening gatherings where lights are low, few people are looking at your feet. If it's dinner, even better, your feet will be mostly under the table. There are some very nice, affordable athletic shoes that can carry this off, and when they do get a little worn, all the better to use them for their original purpose.
This lecture is to give you hope and entertainment, not a scolding. There is a lot of leeway in the fashion world, compared to even twenty years ago. Blue jeans are accepted almost anywhere and more colors are acceptable (rather than all black) formal wear than it used to be.
Again, you don't have to go GQ to dress well. Check all your jacket buttons. Check there are no threads hanging off your coat, or the lining is peeking out behind you. And ALWAYS check the back seam of your pants (any pants) before wearing. This alone can save you a lot of public embarrassment.
Television can show you fashions in different environments. The detective Monk has very nicely tailored suits on every show. Law & Order, all the men wear suits, some more formal than others. Even though the Pawn Stars are very laid back, all their clothes are nicely fitted and comfy -- here's where those running shoes look good for work wear, casual and practical.
DON'T dress like any of the guys on The Big Bang Theory. This is a comedy show. These clothes were chosen because they are actually worn on college campuses and should STAY THERE. No woman will take you seriously dressed like that. It works in college and it works on this television show, people will laugh at you in public if you dress like this.
On the Weather Channel, they wear a lot of L.L. Bean -- practical, functional, stormwear, winterwear, could-save-your-life coordinated outfits but still manly.
When you decide you have to add to your wardrobe, buy an entire outfit. Buying a piece here or there, it's almost impossible to pull together one complete look. And . . . when you do bring in new things, take out old things you do not wear or don't look good anymore.
Are the clothes still in good shape? Donate them. There are a lot of deserving charities and a lot of people can't afford good new clothes. This includes your shoes and belts. If some piece doesn't match anything anymore and you haven't worn it in a year, you probably won't ever. Don't let old stuff fill your life.
The last word in men's fashion that women LOVE: tuxedo. If you get the chance to buy one, make sure it's fitted and be ready to wear it for some special occasion. Doesn't mean you have to, just having one is great. This puts you light years ahead of every man on the planet without one. You may only wear it once a year. Maybe less. BUT every woman you are dating or will ever date will be thoroughly impressed that you own, and can wear, a tux. We're talking classic tux -- NOT a reject-from-the-70s-powder-blue-satin-or-velvet-lapels or a Superfly-electric-blue-lightning-storm-suit. We're talking a James-Bond-special black-tux with a white shirt and black satin bow tie as seen in Monte Carlo. There are some tux shops that have a year end sale, great place to pick up the size and style you need. If you are very careful and an extraordinarily good shopper, sometimes they come into thrift stores, especially after the New Year's holidays and right after prom season. Not required . . . BUT . . . Some men think this is foolish. These are the same men who are not dating the women of their dreams but the buck-toothed-cashier from the convenience store down the street. I can tell you how that's working.
Yes, you can be your own man, wearing and doing what you want, thinking women should take you as they find you. And I'll bet you are looking at sharp dressed women and judging them by their looks. See how that works? It's what I referred to before as the Quasimodo Syndrone: she's supposed to love you for who you are; you chose her because she's beautiful. It may work in books, somestimes in the movies or television . . . but this is real life . . . and looks count!
As Marilyn Monroe said in the movie, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: "A man being rich is like a girl being pretty. It's not everything, but it sure helps!"
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