Octavia Hansen

Til Death Do Us Part? Hmmm, Are You Gonna Die Soon?



Posted: Sunday, December 25, 2011

by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen

I'm not really the marrying kind. Since I have NEVER felt maternal, I don't see any need for marriage. I'm supposed to outlive men anyway, and men in my age group are looking for some young cutie, even though these are the same men who couldn't satisfy someone of their own age. Trouble with me is that I have so much experience, I know good sex from bad and most of it's been pretty bad . . . for me anyway. From their snoring, most men think they did okay for themselves.

Hmmm . . . you wanna get married? What's your insurance like? Are you planning to die soon? This 'til death do us part' really means you, right? I'm not looking for marriage but I still have a sense of loyalty and fun. I don't have any social diseases and I'd want the same assurance you will NOT bring anything contagious. Kids are OUT of the question. Still, companionship could be fun and it's been a long time since I had a full time boyfriend. There! I said it . . . boyfriend. Obscene as this word may be to most men, I only need that much commitment. Nothing more. Since children will never be involved there is no need for a license, a pre-nup or later -- a division of property.

I have trained myself to stay away from love songs, romantic movies, anything that has to do with families and couples, Valentine's Day, mistletoe and most jewelry.

This leaves higher learner, a lot of reading, travel (domestic and foreign - I hear Las Vegas and London calling), constant flirting, movies of high adventure, history, recreational shopping, constant chocolate fix, always looking good (not difficult), unending music (life should have a sensational soundtrack), disposable income, tons of free time, spectacular friends (tho' they do not fill the void), 8 hrs uninterrupted sleep, and good health to enjoy everything.

My life is really good right now . . . guess I need a man to mess it up.

In spite of that, there is nothing in an adult store to take a man's place. Some of the toys are very fine, indeed, yet that human quality is forever elusive. The thrill of it all!

Your qualifications are:
1. Time, resources, good health, manners and desire to please a girlfriend.
2. Free from kids, dogs, current wife or girlfriend.
3. Only emotional carry-on baggage is allowed.
4. Intelligence to appreciate a healthy, active woman (and all this implies).
5. Sense of humour.
6. Sense of adventure.
7. Ability to use the English language, verbal and written.
8. Ability to say the word "Girlfriend" (and mean it!).
9. Ability to ignore all the other women in the entire world until we split. (Look, I'm realistic enough to know nothing lasts forever, I just want your attention when we are together.)
10. And since I lived in the United Kingdom for a few years, please, Please, PLEASE show me that you have good teeth. (When I lived there, I found out that all the jokes were true . . . guess no one was joking!)

I have my own grappling hook and time enough for stalking. Let the games begin!
Octavia (Yes, that's her real name!) is a busy gal in Las Vegas, NV. From New York City parents and Texas birth, she began in the best of both worlds, literate and comical. Extensive US family travel in her younger years, now she's on her third passport and numerous cars driven to pieces in the name of wanderlust. The Big O settled in Las Vegas, which she compares to running away to join the circus - IT'S FUN! Comedy and alternative thinking come easily. When she's not writing, she sings, she writes songs, produces her own CDs, attracted to shiny objects, looks stunning at renaissance festivals across the country and is only stopped by lack of time for all the projects she has in mind. What a woman!
This Article has been viewed 142 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.