Octavia Hansen

Bad Breath ... or ... Hey! I'm Breathing Here!



Posted: Friday, January 06, 2012

by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen

      Considering in this day and age all the advancements in personal hygiene, there are still people with bad breath. I know it can be tough to keep up with mouth odor but I wish people would have more consideration. It was so bad in London, England, there are signs on the subway asking people to be considerate about their food choices when they are about to be in close quarters with others on public transportation.

      Bad breath is a combination of factors . . . dirty teeth, spicy meal, beverage choice, age. At one time, I had a boss who had coffee breath so bad that could melt a spoon. It got to the point where I made sure to serve him a breath mint with his second cup of coffee. (Oh, come on, you can make a lot of boss points with a simple cup of coffee. And I gently reminded him I was the highest paid coffee maker in the city.) There is a modern saying: Whenever you are offered a breath mint -- TAKE IT!

      Teeth are one of the offenders when it comes to odor. It doesn't take long to floss and brush but finding that time can be tricky. I don't like to do this when already dressed for work (I can get spots on anything and I'm amazed dirt is so smart. When I wear black, white flecks jump onto my clothes; when I wear white, black always rubs off on me. How does it know?), it's best to do it when wearing junk clothes. Even a quick swish with mouthwash will help. Flossing doesn't have to be done every day, brushing should be as often as possible. This not only improves your teeth and gums, helps sweeten mouth odor and can make you healthier. A lot of germs go up your nose or into your mouth. Brushing, or a quick mouthwash swish, bunches 'em up so you can spit 'em out.

      Breath mints are a staple of modern life, or they should be. Because of massive amounts of people and almost constant interaction, people are closer together than ever before and that's really telling when there's bad breath. Grocery stores, gas stations, check out lines, work offices, airports or car pools -- you'll be close to people all day, especially over a meal. Breath mints are cheap and easy to carry in bulk -- use them more liberally than vitamins and SHARE!

      Diet has to do with breath also. Much as I love onions and garlic, second hand garlic is disgusting . . . just like breathing second hand anything. Spicy foods don't just taste spicy, they stay in your system and come around again, through your saliva glands in your mouth. Breath mint, please!

      Much overlooked as a definitive cause, illness will turn bodily fluids pretty rank, too. Most sick people don't get enough liquid and medications are notorious for side effects. Even though bad breath won't kill you, or anyone else, it's nicer to catch mint breath than medicine breath. Doesn't matter if it's your mouth sending it or your nose catching it.

      If you are a smoker, don't even ask if you have bad breath. You do! And everything else in your life reeks of the smoking residue. Sure, you can smoke, I'm not gonna tell you to quit. Everybody knows the details of smoking, particularly the smokers, but they choose to do it anyway. Fine. I'm not your mother or your doctor. If you insist on doing this, be responsible enough not to inflict it upon others. It's nasty enough, don't isolate yourself further by thinking your bad breath isn't so bad.

      Can't brush? Can't floss? Out of mints? If you really need to sweeten up, for a quick temporary fix rinse your mouth with clean water. It will make your breath clean for a little while and by that time either you will be alone or you will be somewhere where you can do something about it. For those of you with an office job, or at least a locker or desk you can keep personal items in -- make sure two of those items are a toothbrush and toothpaste. Travel size will serve you well. You don't need it every day, but when you do -- you got it!

      As I have gotten older, I have noticed bad breath a lot more, mine and others. My dentist said it has to do with age -- teeth hang onto food particles more, my diet is sporatic at best, and I can't always linger over brushing. For this reason, I ALWAYS carry breath mints. It also has to do with being attacked by bad breath when I am out and about, so I am prepared . . . and I offer mints. Only to adults. Something feels wrong about offering a mint to a kid . . . maybe that "candy from strangers" has been so drummed into my brain that I don't want to be guilty of doing it.

      There was a very funny animated cartoon from a few years ago called Rocko's Modern Life. In one episode they were doing a spoof on fairy tales, Hansel & Gretel, and Rocko left a trail of Tic-Tacs through the forest to help find their way home. When they needed it -- the trail was gone. When his buddy asked what happened, Rocko said, "I don't know . . . but all the birds are minty fresh!"
Octavia (Yes, that's her real name!) is a busy gal in Las Vegas, NV. From New York City parents and Texas birth, she began in the best of both worlds, literate and comical. Extensive US family travel in her younger years, now she's on her third passport and numerous cars driven to pieces in the name of wanderlust. The Big O settled in Las Vegas, which she compares to running away to join the circus - IT'S FUN! Comedy and alternative thinking come easily. When she's not writing, she sings, she writes songs, produces her own CDs, attracted to shiny objects, looks stunning at renaissance festivals across the country and is only stopped by lack of time for all the projects she has in mind. What a woman!
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