Interviews Pt 3 . . . My Own Sweet Time
Posted: Wednesday, January 11, 2012
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
Ah, the art of the interview. I have been on both ends but would rather throw out the whole mess. I am at such an age and experience that I'd rather meet over my portfolio, exchange a few words and determine on the spot if I fit in their company . . . talent-wise and personality-wise. It would save a lot of time.
Many years ago I copped the attitude I was interviewing them. Do I want to spend my precious life's hours working there . . . or not? There is always another job. In the last few years, it's been close . . . jobs have been scarce but I'm just that good . . . there is always another job. Art is a creative position. When they tried to sit me in a closet, a cubicle or isolate me from the inspiration needed to produce superior art, it was time to leave.
Lately, I have had to wade through oceans of paperwork just to never be called again, or worse, be called back a few times and still not get the job. When I am not working for someone else, I am a freelance artist and I bill my time at a HUGE amount of dollars per hour. Doesn't mean I get it, but I like to shock people into realizing my time is as valuable as theirs.
Here are a few of my own stories:
As I was walking through an office for an interview with the owner, I noticed a decisive cowering by everyone near him. Everyone had their head down, no smiles, no music, lighting was at a minimum. The women especially looked frightened. As we sat down, he was loud, belligerent and rude. Then he asked me some questions. I was terse and quick, deciding to get out of there. So he says, "Wait a minute. I don't know if I can work with you after only talking for ten minutes." So I said, "I do. I can't. Goodbye." and left. As I was leaving, I could see heads over cubicle walls and around doorways with a smile on their face. No one in that office was going to have a good time if he could help it!
At one point, I interviewed at an international company. I knew the work. I could do it. But . . . there were definite channels to follow and NO shortcut. Even though I have a clean record, stellar talent, impressive personal references, and could start tomorrow . . . "Well, you don't have the job yet. You have to take a polygraph and a drug test, and here is a list of company policy." A polygraph test takes a minimum of four hours -- half a day of job hunting or free lance time lost. "Unless I have the job and do this on your time, it will be done on my time, and I bill my freelance rate." The woman was stunned. Evidently, everyone else just did it. "And will I receive a wardrobe compensation?" The lady had never heard of this. Their list included colors NOT to be worn, strict lines of cut, material, appearance, hair and makeup -- nothing I owned followed any of these. "So you want me to dress as if I make $60,000 but you will only pay be $20,000. And just how is this supposed to work?" Obviously, I was not corporate material. How nice! I'm good. I'm professional. You want me or you don't.
My favorite interview was with my favorite boss, to work for him in what will always be my favorite job. As I was sitting in the waiting area, there was a man ahead of me in the conference room with the boss and his second in command. The prospective candidate had a screeching, penetrating voice I could hear all the way in the lobby, and a laugh like breaking glass. His interview didn't last long. They shook hands. He left. I walked in and opened my portfolio. "You know," I said quietly, in my smoothest voice, "If you hire that man you'll have to listen to that all day . . . every day." The boss was breezing through my portfolio pages. He looked up and smiled. "You're hired," he announced, and shook my hand.
So there are 'good' interviews. You will be hired. Much like on a date, try to be the person you would hire . . . be polite, get to the point and don't take it personally when an interview or a job doesn't work for you.
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