The Family Curse
Posted: Monday, January 30, 2012
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
My husband did not know that when we were married, he was then ingratiated into The Family Curse. This is not just any old curse. The Family Curse comes from the Old Country, approximately five hundred years ago in the vicinity of Poland. No one has ever actually stated what this curse is, but it's a low grade aggravating curse that has always been with my family, and evidently, tentacles of evil have spread with us kids when we left home. Let me say that no one has ever died from this curse, it's more of a trip-over-the-end-table curse. Maybe a distant relative tripped a witch on her way to a ball with a poison apple or something, and since she had better things to do she could not waste time on a killing so a curse of inconvenience would have to do.
Sometimes it pops up and still bites our plans in half but either I'm so used to it that it's no surprise, or the curse is losing steam over the many years for all the havoc it has reeked in my original growing up family.
The Family Curse is like the Peter Principle but more socially oriented. For those who are not familiar with The Peter Principle, it's basically: in a hierarchy, everyone tends to rise to their level of incompetence. This means that just about everybody finds a place and thing that they are very good at, life gets comfy, and then they are moved or promoted to the next level where they can't function -- then they are stuck at that level.
The Family Curse is along the same lines. Whatever it is that is planned, worked for, hoped for or imagined . . . is NOT what will happen . . . EVER.
I noticed it a lot in my early working years that what ever place my gal friends and I planned for lunch we had at least two other backup locations, and many times had to use them. At one point, not only was our favorite restaurant suddenly gone, there wasn't even a parking lot in which to meet to confirm this instantaneous change of venue. Seems an incredible force of earth moving equipment arrived after the last time we were there and took everything. I was surprised at the hole in the ground where once was an award winning restaurant, never to be replaced. Such is life.
The Family Curse usually takes the mild form of missed connections in both people, places and holidays. Not that I mind that much. If it was really important, it would have happened. Most of the time I'm not interested in seeing the very family that not only bestowed this upon me but I've known and seen them all my life . . . what's one missed encounter? At least we have something to talk about the next time around, even if it is just excuses why we didn't get together.
The Family Curse could show up any time, and it was not deterred by time or distance. Many summers ago, the family vacation meant crossing the New Mexico and Arizona desert. Not only was it NOT hot, it rained. It rained so hard that numerous times we were forced onto the side of the road or off the highway entirely to await it's passing. It didn't pass. It was the wettest summer on record. Roads were washed away. People moved to higher ground. At one point, while we were waiting for the "All Clear", it was the general consensus of my family that we should call ahead with our vacation plans and make them an offer -- if you need water, pay for our vacation and we'll bring the rain with us. This could have changed the face of the Southwest United States but nothing more ever came from it. Only our vacations changed.
And The Family Curse was a constant challenge in my dating years. The men I met had all sorts of wonderful hidden attributes and agendas that would pop out at the most inopportune times. What you see is NOT what you would get . . . EVER. Still, it makes for a lot of great dating stories.
Now that I live in a less populated area of the United States, The Family Curse still follows at a close shadow to whatever I do. I'm never alone when driving. Doesn't matter if I'm doing down the street at 3 a.m., cruising across country day or night, or lost or just driving . . . there is ALWAYS another vehicle. Someone going very slow in front of me or very fast, close behind me. How do they find me? There can be no cars around me for miles, but come to a narrow bridge or construction and there they are. Good thing I never had to dump a body, there's always a witness close by, no matter what time of day or night, rain or shine, I am not alone.
So, hubby has taken this in stride. I think he lead a very normal life before I showed up and it's been akin to a circus ever since. No matter what we do or where we go, there's always something not quite right, not expected, never accounted for -- he has an extraordinarily well developed sense of humor about the universe . . .
You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone (same as The Family Curse . . .) . . .
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)--
How fun! Great story of an unusual heritage. I especially enjoyed the imagery of the last paragraph. It seems familiar. And, O, should your husband ever get sucked away into some mysterious abyss, I will tempt you with a shiny apple!
RonKIt was kind of a toss up trying to name it . . . Family Curse or The Dick Van Dyke Syndrome (you know, where he always trips over the ottoman). There always seems to be something funny happening around me . . . why not blame it on a curse? That way I'm not just clumsy . . . I'm mysterious!
Thanks for reading!
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