To Sleep . . . Perchance to Dream
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2012
by Octavia Hansen
Octavia Hansen
Everybody needs sleep. But as I get older, it's tougher to sleep. Yea, it's the usual . . . weight of the world on my shoulders . . . personal demons awaken in the night . . . still getting used to my new husband.
When I was little, I hated naps. Simply hated them. It was lost play time. Naps were for babies and I didn't want that any more. Now that I'm older (age withheld to protect my psyche), I would LOVE a nap. It doesn't have to be much . . . fifteen minutes, maybe thirty, an hour at the most. When was the last time you had a nap? I can't find two uninterrupted hours to view a DVD. Most aren't even two hours but sometimes it takes me four days to get through a single story. Then, it's too late to do anything else when I find it wasn't much of a picture and I lost time that I'll never get back. I should have tried for that nap.
The snore-sleeper. This is my dad. Do you remember cartoons where Popeye The Sailor was sleeping and snoring? As he inhaled-snoring, all the drawers and doors would pull towards him and then slam shut with the exhale. That's my dad. The few times the entire family slept in a single hotel room, if you did not get to sleep before him, then kiss the night goodbye. You were NOT going to sleep after he passed into slumberland. The windows rattled, the bed creaked, the blankets would roll up and down the length of his person as he would snore and then breathe it all back out. I'm surprised there was enough oxygen in the room for the rest of us after he snoozed through the night.
The rotisserie-sleeper. This would be my husband. I did not know this until we actually slept together . . . when trying to acquire actual sleep, not just having fun. I'll swear when I'm not looking he puts on velcro pajamas and then rolls until he has not just the blankets but the sheets and pillows, too. Considering he's not wearing anything to bed, maybe he is magnetized by static electricity generated by movement or he's just that good at holding onto stuff in his sleep. In the morning, I'm not just making the bed, it's unraveling everything and finding lost blankets, pillow cases and the cats. I could have sworn we had two!
The grinding-sleeper. I had a roommate many years ago that would grind her teeth. I had never even heard of that before her. My dentist said it was common. I'd never heard of it before her. Maybe it was always covered by my dad's snoring. But she would grind -- not just any old grind. Her first stop after waking up was the kitchen and I swore she would grind her own coffee beans with her teeth! We only lived together for a year, then I decided I was better off alone. We did not keep in touch. By now, she must be on either a third set of dentures or had installed those steel teeth like Mr Jaws in the James Bond movies. Didn't she wake herself up? Surely she or her dentist knew she did this. I certainly did, and we had separate rooms!
The talking-sleeper. Oh, this was priceless. Many years ago, a man who would hardly give me two words during the day would launch into lengthy speeches in his sleep. Who was he when he was asleep? Citizen Kane? The President? Shakespeare? Obviously someone who talked a lot. In the daytime, I would try to shoe-horn this guy into a conversation to no avail, but as soon as his head hit the pillow at night, I heard more in an hour than I had heard all week. Oh, by the way, according to his night talking, he gave me his house, car, cat and best guitar. Guess some night jobs do pay off! (Not that I would bind him to a verbal contract, but it's fun to ask.)
The somnambulists (sleepwalkers). I've known two of these, a man and a woman (not related, two separate people) who actually walked in their sleep. Or at least they said later they must have been asleep. It's not scary. It's not deadly. It's irritating. They start out with a lot of movement. This makes me question if they actually were sleep walking or just wanted the attention as they got up in the night. What's the use of doing something as theatrical as sleep walking if no one knows about it? Needless to say, my nocturnal relations to each was quickly severed in the quest for a good night's sleep.
The insomniac -- not a sleeper but needs to be on this list as annoying features. It's okay if I can't sleep -- I'm really good at finding things to do, especially writing, and I'm quiet about it. But in someone else this is not good. They have to have an audience for their sad tale that they can not sleep. For me? This is when I get my best ideas and I keep paper and felt marker next to the bed. The felt marker writes at any angle so I can capture my thoughts. I'm so good, I don't even have to turn on the light to get down the basic ideas. Too many times I lost a thought, thinking to regain it in the morning and never did. As fellow writers, you already know how important it is to get your ideas down immediately. My not sleeping comes from within, when the rest of the day shuts down, that's when my inner demons gnaw at my intellectual insides. Oh, well, without them I'd be alone. We've been friends for a long time and have learned not to borrow money from each other or wear each other's clothes. See? My demons and I have an understanding.
Technically and logically, I know what it takes to fall asleep, I just can't get there on a regular basis. I have cut out caffeine, no sugar anything before bedtime, no exciting movies or books. No way am I doing warm milk -- even if you hit me in the head with the glass to knock me out. I've read a lot about sleeping, I know the drill, but it does not come together for me . . . at night . . . to sleep. Still, there is a lot to recommend late night television, I've seen some pretty wacky stuff . . . or was I dreaming?
As Master Shakespeare said: We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep . . .
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)--
O,
Really fun article! Good subject. I think my favorite line was:
"I'm surprised there was enough oxygen in the room for the rest of us after he snoozed through the night."
I identify with having to get an idea down on paper right away. I can never get back to sleep once I have some story theme in my head. I sit up and write at least until I'm too cold, which happens after about an hour since I'm usually in the raw.
Ron Kelley
Brilliant and fun. I think you covered it all. As refreshing as a full night's sleep.
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